Sandwich jokes 🥪 in 2025

Strange trend at my office…
– People are naming food in the break room refrigerator. Today I ate a sandwich named “Kevin”.

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. There is a small menu on the bar, so he picks it up and reads:
“Cheese sandwich: $2.50
Handjob: $5”
A gorgeous woman is the bartender, and she comes over to get the guys order. He asks her “are you the one who gives the handjobs?” The leggy blonde flips back her curly hair and silkily says with a wink and seductive smile “why yes, I am.”
“Well wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich.”

Sandwiches
– There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff.
The Englishman said, “If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I’ll jump off this cliff.”
The Scotsman said, “If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I’ll jump off the cliff.”
The Irishman said, “If I have ham tomorrow, I’ll jump off the cliff.”
The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped.
At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, “Why didn’t they just tell us they didn’t like their sandwiches?” The Irish lady said, “I don’t know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches.”

I left my sandwich in the elevator at work.
– I wanted to take my lunch to the next level

I’d tell you the joke about some jam on a piece of bread but you might spread it.

What is the preferred sandwich of the working class? [OC]
– A plebian-J.

I wrote a song about a sandwich
– Well it’s more of a wrap really

Stowaway
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.” Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”
The girl nodded ‘yes.’ After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. “What are you doing here?” the Captain asked.
“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she explained. “He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”
“He sure is, lady,” said the Captain. “This is the Staten Island Ferry.”

Why do Zombies go to Subway?
– Because they like to Eat Flesh.

90% of dogs in Korea are inbred…
– I’m assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

So a sandwich walks into a bar
– He sits down and asks the bartender for a beer, the bartender says Sorry we don’t serve food here .

What did the Sentient Sandwich say to himself?
What did the Sentient Sandwich say to himself?
“Damn it! I should have said ” Make a sandwich for me”.

What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?
– Counter productive.

If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one…
– What type of sandwich would you make?

A cheese sandwich is better than complete happiness
– Because nothing is better than complete happiness, and a cheese sandwich is better than nothing.

Bach, the great composer, was having a difficult time writing new music.
With 20 kids in the house, it was hard for him to find quiet time to work.
So he decided to find a quiet place outdoors, and found a small shed in the woods. Unfortunately, it was so far from his home, that by the time he got there and started writing, it was time to go back home for lunch.
His wife came up with an idea, and started packing him sandwiches and snacks in a small bag to take with him. Brilliant!
And to this day, we can thank her for one of history’s greatest inventions, the Bach’s Lunch.

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
– Oops wrong sub

Saw a sign in a cafe that said they serve breakfast at any time. I asked for a bacon sandwich during the Industrial Revolution.