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Sailor jokes ⛵ in 2025

Worry less and paddle more.

What’s the polite term for an overweight sailor?
– Portly

What do British sea monsters eat?
– Why fish and ships, of course!

What kind of music do fishermen love to listen to on their boat?
– Pond-tunes.

Why are pirates so bad at learning alphabets?
– Because they always get stuck at C.

Why was the sailboat feeling better?
– It was heeling.

Why did the sailboat captain bring a hockey player on his voyage?
– To prevent icing (a hazard for ships – and a play in hockey).

What’s the sailor’s favorite detergent?
– Tide.

Which music band is not allowed to perform on a navy boat?
– Maroon 5.

Find your flow and row, row, row.

How do you make a sick sailboat feel better?
– Give it some Vitamin Sea.

Why did the sailboat crash into the dock.
– It was closer than it a-PIER-ed

How was the boat turned into a party boat?
– Through pier pressure.

What do you call a ship that blinks a lot?
– A lighthouse.

Thanks for making sure we do not sink.

Who is the author of the book “How to Sail”
– Bo Ting.

Guy at the Marina: “So which of these boats is the one I won in the dice game?”
– “Yacht C,” the attendant says.
– “No. Craps!”

What is the most crowded and caring boat called?
– A friend-ship.

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