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Running jokes 🏃‍♀️ in 2025

“Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people.”

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to?
– The computer runs.

Why did the trainer make the runner workout in the sun?
– He wants him to feel the burn.

Why didn’t the personal trainer pay his rent?
– Because he was squatting.

“It is true that speed kills. In distance running,
– it kills anyone who does not have it.”

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted,
– but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Why is a marathon race 26.2 miles long?
– Read Psalm 26:2 of David: “Test me, o Lord, and try me / examine my heart and my mind”.

How did the son know that his dad was a dedicated runner?
– He had more miles on his treadmill than on his car.

Why did the scared new gym trainer quit his new job at the gym?
– He handed in his two weak notice.

“Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.”

Why did the chicken run across the road?
– There was a car coming.

If you cut Usain Bolt, what does that make you?
– A bolt cutter.

Why can’t you hear a cross country runner while they’re training?
– Because they wear sneakers.

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.”

If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
– Twenty after one!

Why do dogs run in circles?
– Because its hard to run in squares!

Why was the skinny woman jogging backward?
– Because she wanted to gain weight.

Why do football coaches go to the bank?
– To get their quarterback.

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