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Rock Jokes in 2024

I really hate rock puns.
-My sediments exactly.

A guy asked me if I could name a better prog-rock band than RUSH.
-I said Yes.

My wife asked for help with a puzzle. She said to hand her pieces with rocks and water.
-I said shore.

In what era can you find the best examples of rock puns?
-The Stone Age.

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?
-Pink Flamenco

What did the judge say to the angry rock star?
-He charged him with basalt and battery.

When were rock puns the funniest?
-During the stone age.

Why do movies with Kevin Hart and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson pairing do well in the box office?
-Because they have a little Hart and a big Johnson

Whats red and feels rock hard?
-A brick
(Ba dum tsss)

Apparently geologists don’t ever get a pit in their stomach.
-This guy is rocking it old school.

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock
-Shoulda picked paper

What do you call a gunship playing rock and roll?
-An AC-DC130

Did you see Dwayne The Rock Johnson is recovering from COVID ?
-I hear he couldn’t even smell what he was cookin.

How does a rock make his name stand out?
-Makes it bigger and boulder.

I was sad when I lost my rock collection.
-It had a lot of sedimental value.

My neighbor likes to make a big deal about how SOME people prefer listening to rock music that’s made using only a guitars, drums, and vocals. At first I thought he was just an opinionated music listener but…
-I’m starting to think he’s a bassist.

What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
-A sham rock.

My pet rock has started talking and asked me how babies were made.
-I told him I would explain when he was a little boulder!

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