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Rock Jokes in 2025

Why did the Rock divorce his wife?
-It’s because she was taking him for granite.

I was sad when I lost my rock collection.
-It had a lot of sedimental value.

My neighbor likes to make a big deal about how SOME people prefer listening to rock music that’s made using only a guitars, drums, and vocals. At first I thought he was just an opinionated music listener but…
-I’m starting to think he’s a bassist.

What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
-A sham rock.

My pet rock has started talking and asked me how babies were made.
-I told him I would explain when he was a little boulder!

When you listen to rock backwards you hear satanic messages, what do you get when you listen to country music backwards?
-Your wife back, your life back, and your dog back.

It’s not gneiss to hate.
-Rock on, dude.

Who is the best rock artist in the world?
-Michelangelo.

What do rocks and girls have in common?
-The flat ones get skipped

Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock?
-Because it’s a little meteor.

Which fruit do rocks buy most often?
-Pom-a-granites.

I searched up “rock music” on the interwebs the other day and got nothing.
-I suppose it’s because rocks don’t usually sing.

I’m not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks.
-It helps me speak boulder.

What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
-Rolling Stone.

I quit drugs to concentrate on rock climbing
-“nice… what’s the highest you’ve been?”
I tried to kiss a goldfish.

The study of rocks and minerals is called geology,
-and people that do geology are are called geologists.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing?
-Mount Rushmore

Why did the space rock eat the hamburger?
-It wanted to be meteor.

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