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Rock Jokes in 2025

Why did the Rock divorce his wife?
-It’s because she was taking him for granite.

Got a pet rock yesterday…
-…I told him to roll over

My career as a professional rock climber is going great, but I’m also taking a course in mattress-making.
-Just so I’ve got something to fall back on.

Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
-Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.

Why do Rock Stars wear mascara?
-200% more volume.

I’ve been having dreams about being in an alternative rock band
-must be all that R.E.M. sleep I’ve been getting.

I really hate rock puns.
-My sediments exactly.

A guy asked me if I could name a better prog-rock band than RUSH.
-I said Yes.

My wife asked for help with a puzzle. She said to hand her pieces with rocks and water.
-I said shore.

In what era can you find the best examples of rock puns?
-The Stone Age.

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?
-Pink Flamenco

What did the judge say to the angry rock star?
-He charged him with basalt and battery.

When were rock puns the funniest?
-During the stone age.

Why do movies with Kevin Hart and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson pairing do well in the box office?
-Because they have a little Hart and a big Johnson

Whats red and feels rock hard?
-A brick
(Ba dum tsss)

Apparently geologists don’t ever get a pit in their stomach.
-This guy is rocking it old school.

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock
-Shoulda picked paper

What do you call a gunship playing rock and roll?
-An AC-DC130

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