Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.

Girl: My GrandFather Lived For 96 Years & He Never Used Glasses.
Boy: Yeah I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle.

โ€œOften when you are at the end of something, youโ€™re at the beginning of something else.โ€

Retirement: Itโ€™s not the end of your life, itโ€™s the end of your bank account.

I couldn’t be happier, unless of course I was the one retiring. But, I’m still happy-ish for you.

Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

How many retirees to change a light bulb? Only one, but it might take all day.

Retirement: It’s not the end of your life, it’s the end of your bank account!

You might be excited about retirement, but we’re not throwing you a party because we realize it means we’re each getting some of your work added to ours.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me … they were cramming for their finals.

Iโ€™ve learned that saying โ€œoh, this old thing?โ€ isnโ€™t an appropriate way to introduce an elderly relative.

โ€œThe trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.โ€

I hear retired people have a much higher death rate than working people. I wonder what that’s all about?

Where will we be without our fearless leader? Oh, that’s right, we’ll be relaxed and happy!

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

I saw 2 men mugging an old lady and I asked myself if I should help but decided that 3 would be overkill.

โ€œI need to retire from retirement.โ€

Follow us on Facebook