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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

When you retire do you turn into the old version of Boss Baby? Will you be wearing a suit and tie while you nap on the couch?

Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

I’ve learnt that saying “Oh, this old thing?”
– isn’t an appropriate way to introduce an elderly relative.

How can you tell that youโ€™re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

We all aspire to retire, and then what?

Who’s Retiring? Oh well, another excuse for cake.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?
– Only one, but it might take all day.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.

โ€œYou have to put off being young until you can retire.โ€

We all aspire to retire, and then what?

Happy Retirement. We’ll always have each other. Except you, you won’t have us because you won’t be in the office.

How do you know your old? People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement.

Money isnโ€™t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

Retirement sounds like fun, until you realized you’re too old, too broke, and too tired to leave the couch.

I’m sorry, I thought you were already retired since we never see you doing any work.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

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