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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

โ€œItโ€™s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnโ€™t appeal to anyone.โ€

Donโ€™t mess with old people, life imprisonment is not that much of a deterrent anymore.

If I’ve learned one thing from some of the most successful people in life it’s this, don’t come out of retirement, if it didn’t work for Brett Favre, it can’t work for anyone.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

When did being unemployed become something to brag about?

Your entire life’s work – Worth nothing more than cake.

A mate said he saw several elderly men repairing shoes in the back of a van. I reckon it’s a load of old cobblers.

I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.

โ€œAging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.โ€

When did being unemployed become something to brag about?

It’s going to be so weird not seeing you every day. What’s your name again?

Why are there so many old people in Church? They’re cramming for the final.

My brother and I were visiting our grandmother in the hospital. My brother says “grandma I can’t stand to see you like this…” My grandmother replies “well get the hell out then!”

โ€œIn retirement, I look for days off from my days off.โ€

Retirement is wonderful. Itโ€™s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Wait, you’re leaving? I thought we were just all really excited you were getting new tires on your car!

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