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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

Welcome to the next phase of life. There’s no dress code, but you probably can’t afford clothes anymore, anyway!

Don’t be one of those boomerang retirees. Even if your job’s still here, we don’t want you to be miserable with us!

When we were young, we would compare liquor and women. Now we compare statins.

I love coffee. Itโ€™s Redbull for old people.

Children are the leading cause of old age.

Wouldn’t it be great if people had celebrated your employment as much as they’re celebrating your retirement?

It’s sad you can’t even be the boss of yourself in retirement. I’m sure your wife has been looking forward to this for years.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

The soldier who survived mustard-gas and pepper-spray… is now a seasoned veteran.

โ€œRetirement is not in my vocabulary. They arenโ€™t going to get rid of me that way.โ€

Congratulations on deciding life is more important than work. What took you so long?

This is the last time anyone will throw you a party for quitting.

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we’re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

Sometimes the best part of your job is retirement.

We thought you were a team player, and there’s no “I” in team, although there is one in “retirement.”

Just remember, it’s better to pay full price than to admit you’re a senior citizen.

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