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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

This is the last time anyone will throw you a party for quitting.

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we’re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

Sometimes the best part of your job is retirement.

We thought you were a team player, and there’s no “I” in team, although there is one in “retirement.”

Just remember, it’s better to pay full price than to admit you’re a senior citizen.

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy things only the young can enjoy.

Congratulations. You’ve retired from your job. Too bad the next step is retiring from life!

You worked so hard all these years to become what, a couch bum?

Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles “how to read a book”.

Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

Whatโ€™s the difference between people and tin foil?
– Tin foil doesnโ€™t wrinkle as it oldens.

Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay.

Retirement is sweet any way you slice it!

Trump won’t get re-elected if we just stop fixing our grandparents’ WiFi.

โ€œI never had the sense that there was an end; that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot.โ€

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