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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

I’m not sure why you’d want to re-tire, we’re all tired already!

Another World’s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.

Back in my day, we didn’t watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful.

โ€œSometimes itโ€™s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or punishment.โ€

Be nice to your kids. Theyโ€™ll choose your nursing home.

I hear retirement is really lonely. I hope you don’t get lonely. If you do, don’t call me, I’ll be at work.

It must be so hard leaving us all knowing you’ll actually have to do things for yourself in retirement.

Grandma’s been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse I’ll have to let her in.

I love coffee. It’s Redbull for old people.

You know youโ€™re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

What do you call someone whoโ€™s happy on Mondays? Retired!

It’s sad you only get cake when you leave.

When is a retiree’s bedtime?
– Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

The next tropical cyclone should be named after you. It would be less fatal than your face.

โ€œI always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off.โ€

Happy end of everything you’ve worked your whole life for…wait, why are you retiring?

Retirement can’t be that different from work; you still get to use sheets, visit docs, and steal other people’s food out of the fridge.

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.

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