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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy things only the young can enjoy.

Congratulations. You’ve retired from your job. Too bad the next step is retiring from life!

You worked so hard all these years to become what, a couch bum?

Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles “how to read a book”.

Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

Whatโ€™s the difference between people and tin foil?
– Tin foil doesnโ€™t wrinkle as it oldens.

Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay.

Retirement is sweet any way you slice it!

Trump won’t get re-elected if we just stop fixing our grandparents’ WiFi.

โ€œI never had the sense that there was an end; that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot.โ€

Working with you was a real pleasure. Let your husband know he can use me as a reference if he has any doubts about that.

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.

How can you tell that you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

โ€œItโ€™s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnโ€™t appeal to anyone.โ€

Donโ€™t mess with old people, life imprisonment is not that much of a deterrent anymore.

If I’ve learned one thing from some of the most successful people in life it’s this, don’t come out of retirement, if it didn’t work for Brett Favre, it can’t work for anyone.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

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