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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay.

Now that you’re retired, you can binge watch all those great Netflix shows! What will you do the second week?

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

โ€œWork is the curse of the drinking classes.โ€

โ€œThe really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youโ€™ll grow out of it.โ€ โ€“ Doris Day

I hate to leave you all here, but I love the idea of me walking out the door more!

Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying!

If the music’s too loud you’re too old.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you donโ€™t mind, it doesnโ€™t matter.

Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!

I’m so sorry for your loss. No one is ever going to call you “boss” again.

You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean weโ€™re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.

โ€œRetirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.โ€

How can you ever be sure people are happy you get to retire and not happy they finally got rid of you?

You’ve finally reached retirement age! Does that make you old or me young?

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common “enemy”.

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