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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2025

โ€œGodโ€™s retirement plan is out of this world.โ€ โ€“ Unknown

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We were sad to hear youโ€™re retiring until we realized it means one less person absentmindedly hitting โ€œreply allโ€ needlessly on emails.

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My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a manโ€™s heart was through his stomach, which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.

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If the musicโ€™s too loud youโ€™re too old.

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โ€œExcept for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.โ€

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Youโ€™re never too old to retire, but youโ€™re always too old to find a new job!

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You picked a great time to retire, we were just about to start a revolt against your leadership style.

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A retired husband is often a wifeโ€™s full-time job.

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Girl: My GrandFather Lived For 96 Years & He Never Used Glasses.
Boy: Yeah I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle.

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โ€œOften when you are at the end of something, youโ€™re at the beginning of something else.โ€

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Retirement: Itโ€™s not the end of your life, itโ€™s the end of your bank account.

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I couldnโ€™t be happier, unless of course I was the one retiring. But, Iโ€™m still happy-ish for you.

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Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.

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The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

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How many retirees to change a light bulb? Only one, but it might take all day.

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Retirement: Itโ€™s not the end of your life, itโ€™s the end of your bank account!

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You might be excited about retirement, but weโ€™re not throwing you a party because we realize it means weโ€™re each getting some of your work added to ours.

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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me โ€ฆ they were cramming for their finals.

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