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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2025

Robber runs into a real estate agents office and shouts
– Nobody move

My realtor promised to give me a free abacus if he could close the deal.
– I’m unsure whether to count on it or not.

Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?
– He was a loaner.

What did the realtor say to his wife?
– “Speaking with you felt like buying a house for the first time – thrilling and nervous”.

What compliment did the realtor give his wife?
– He said that she deserves all the props in life!

Can you make me some good real estate jokes?
– I have some clients in real estate that I’ll be seeing soon. Can you give me a list of jokes I could use on them? Something like, “What did one home for sale say to the other?”

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