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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2025

Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
– “A Whole Lot Of Love.”

My friend works at a coffee beans estate. I think he is the groundskeeper there!

Why did the realtor decide not to go to Egypt to sell ancient monuments?
– It might be a pyramid scheme!

Help! What to do with a piece of empty Real Estate?
– It was my Christmas gift for Mariah Carey, but when I gave it to her she told me,
“I don’t want a lot for Christmas”

What are sophisticated realtors known for?
– Constantly telling you all about proper tea.

What’s that feeling you get every month when the mortgage is due?
– Homesick.

Many realtors don’t work in Mexico as they don’t really peso much!

What does a realtor say during the festive season?
– For lease Navidad!

Donald Trump is an amazing real estate investor.
– His New York properties are so hot right now!

What kind of house does Chuck Norris own?
– A roundhouse.

A realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an open house. A guy says, “Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?”
– The realtor replies, “Brochure.”

How many realtors are needed to change a bulb?
– Five. One to change and others to say they would have done it for a lower price!

Why did the real estate agent set up a meeting between the two parties at the house’s underground portion?
– To meet the cellar!

I started to get really worried about climate change when I was house shopping and my real estate agent used the phrase:
– “Potential Water Front Property”

How many realtors are needed to change a bulb?
– Five. One to change, and four others to say they would have done it for a lower price.

As a realtor, I had a rude client. I showed her some manors!

What is the best line a realtor uses to convince his clients?
– “I can just picture you in this home”.

What does a british real estate agent care most about?
– His proper tea

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