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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2025

My realtor promised to give me a free abacus if he could close the deal.
– I’m unsure whether to count on it or not.

Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?
– He was a loaner.

What did the realtor say to his wife?
– “Speaking with you felt like buying a house for the first time – thrilling and nervous”.

What compliment did the realtor give his wife?
– He said that she deserves all the props in life!

Can you make me some good real estate jokes?
– I have some clients in real estate that I’ll be seeing soon. Can you give me a list of jokes I could use on them? Something like, “What did one home for sale say to the other?”

What does a house wear?
– Address.

Graveyards want to leave the real estate business. After all, cemeteries are a dying industry.

What did the realtor say when someone helped him sell the large vacant land?
– He had lots to be grateful for!

What happened when the realtor company opened a Lego land?
– All the kids of the town started lining up for the blocks!

What do you call alligators interested in real estate?
A: Invest-igators

What’s a real estate agent’s favorite song?
– “For Lease Navidad.”

While buying a house, never consult a realtor. Almost all houses have cellars in them!

How can cats only afford to stay in expensive neighborhoods?
– Because they have nine lives to pay off the debts!

When it comes to board games about buying real estate…
– Hasbro really has the Monopoly.

Why didn’t the hipster real estate agent show the ocean side mansion?
– It was too current.

It’s important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns…
– Last time I voted for a real estate agent.

What did the manager say to the real estate agent when he made a deal for Amazon?
– “Hey, John, you did an Amazon Prime job.”

What did the prisoner turned realtor say to his clients?
– Guy says, “Now I sell the blocks in New York paradise and not in prison”.

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