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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2025

Did you hear about the final remaining unit in the apartment building?
– It was last but not leased.

A client had a great vacant space. I really had to study lots to get work!

Why was the agent who invested in real estate happy when the GDP fell?
– Because he appreciated the depreciation!

What do you call a detective in the real estate business?
– Sherlock Homes

What do real estate agents have to be thankful for this year?
– Lots.

Why were the periodic table elements hired by the real estate company?
– Because they have lots of properties!

What is a mortgage paradox?
– The older generation wants to get rid of it; the newer ones want it.

Why did the happy realtor say when his competitors got fired from the company?
– He said all his rivals were now roofless!

I hear it’s a good time to buy real estate in Texas!
– The housing market is flooded.

While buying a house, don’t consult a realtor.
– Almost all houses have cellars in them.

Becoming a real estate attorney is a tough job. You will always have to deal with battles of wills!

Why did the realtor buy his home right beside a porta potty?
– Because it was a leakfront property!

What do you call alligators interested in real estate?
A: Invest-igators

How many insects do you need to make money from your rental property?
– Ten-ants.

My realtor sold me a two-story house.
– One story before the offer, another story after the offer.

I dislike realtors the most. While buying a two-storied house, he gave me a story before I bought it.

Why do realtors love skateboard?
– Because they can flip it whenever they want!

So I was in the pub and mate who’s a thief came up to me and said ” I just robbed this place and got two pictures one is worth 1.5 million and the other is worth 2.5 million , come to my van and have look”
– So we got to the van and he showed me the pictures I said “You just robbed a real estate agent”….

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