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Real estate jokes 🏡🏡 in 2025

Why did the man decide to hide his realtor license?
– Because he wanted to be a secret agent!

Need advice
A bit hesitant to invest my money into this dubious Egyptian real estate company.

– I am afraid it might be a pyramide scheme.

Which Star Wars character would make the best Realtor?
– Land-o Calrissian.

There are three things verbose realtors find most important:
– Loquacion. Loquacion. Loquacion.

Why did the realtor open a bakery shop?
– Because he was dealing in dough!

Why would a real estate business never close down?
– Because it will never be out of commission!

I tried bidding on a shopping center in a real estate auction, but I was outbid at the last minute. I guess the old saying is true:
– You can’t win a mall.

Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
– “A Whole Lot Of Love.”

My friend works at a coffee beans estate. I think he is the groundskeeper there!

Why did the realtor decide not to go to Egypt to sell ancient monuments?
– It might be a pyramid scheme!

Help! What to do with a piece of empty Real Estate?
– It was my Christmas gift for Mariah Carey, but when I gave it to her she told me,
“I don’t want a lot for Christmas”

What are sophisticated realtors known for?
– Constantly telling you all about proper tea.

What’s that feeling you get every month when the mortgage is due?
– Homesick.

Many realtors don’t work in Mexico as they don’t really peso much!

What does a realtor say during the festive season?
– For lease Navidad!

Donald Trump is an amazing real estate investor.
– His New York properties are so hot right now!

What kind of house does Chuck Norris own?
– A roundhouse.

A realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an open house. A guy says, “Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?”
– The realtor replies, “Brochure.”

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