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Pumpkin Jokes 🎃 in 2025

Dang girl, are you a pumpkin?
-Because they call me Peter Peter.
Happy Halloween!

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.
-I’m capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

What did one Pumpkin say to the other?
-Happy Hollowing!

What was the pumpkin after he was stabbed 17 times in the chest?
-He was gourd.

What does a cancer survivor who just baked a pumpkin pie say?
-“I made it.”
Credit to my wonderful brother.

How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking?
-The pumpkin patch.

Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?
– To make them even more basic.

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
-With a pumpkin patch

A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?”
– The jack-o’-lantern says “I don’t have the guts.”

What instrument does a pumpkin play?
-An a-gourd-ian.
(I’m so sorry I had to get it out of my head)

What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
-You’ll get autumn’y ache.

Unless it’s pumpkin spice
-I don’t give a frappe

Ever heard about the snare and the cymbal that fell to the ground?
-BA DUM TSS!

Where do pumpkins like to live?
– In the seedy part of town.

What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs?
– A headbanger
The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.

Throw your rotting pumpkins at pretty people.
-It is a sure way of calling them Gourdeous.

Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?
– Because he’s empty-headed.

What do you get when you flat pack a pumpkin?
-Squash

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