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Psychology jokes 🧠 in 2025

What did the psychologist name his timid cat?
– Freudy cat.

A guy being examined by a psychologist is shown an inkblot card. “What does this look like?” asks the examiner
– The guy studies it for a moment. “Oh, that’s an easy one! It’s Rorschach series III, sequence 6, card 2.”

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
– I don’t know, but times up, we can discuss it at your next session.

Why did the psychology major drop out of the behaviorism class?
– The subject just wasn’t stimulating enough for him.

I thought reverse psychology was when you made your therapist cry.

What did the ghost tell the psychologist at his first therapy session?
– I used to know who I was, now I just feel like I’m drifting through life.

Child-psychologists…
– Hear touching stories from time to time.

I’ve recently been reading a book on reverse psychology ,
– or have I?

Why did the dogs suddenly start salivating?
– They heard the name ‘Ivan Pavlov’ and it rang a bell.

What do you call a psychologist’s clothes?
– Shrinkwrap

Why did the psychology major struggle so much during his memory exam?
– He couldn’t remember anything because he blanked out.

Knock knock

– Who’s there?

– I’m a…

– I’m a who?

– I’m a dual personality…OMG…so am I!

Child walks past the parents bedroom,
– looks inside and mumbles: And you want to send me to a psychologist for thumb sucking.

Why did the psychologist not meet the client who thought he was invisible?
– He didn’t have the time to see him.

Why didn’t the psychology grad learn anything in college?
– He minored in reverse psychology.

Did you hear about that psychologist’s awesome speech last night?
– It was amazing! The crowd was really eating it up. Everyone was going absolutely sane.

“After 12 years of therapy, my psychotherapist said something that brought tears to my eyes.”
– “What did he say?” “No hablo inglés.”

Why did the homeless psychology student reject her fiance’s marriage proposal?
– She was still stuck on the second level of Maslow’s hierarchy.

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