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Psychology jokes 🧠 in 2025

What is the main difference between a sorcerer and an experimental psychologist?
– The sorcerer lures rabbits out of hats, and the psychologist takes habits out of rats.

What do you call a cruise liner full of psychologists?
– A Freudian ship.

Why did the psychology major work in a theatre as a side job?
– He knew projection very well.

A troubled young man goes to see a psychologist.

– The psychologist says, ‘well… you have borderline personality disorder, but with time we can work through it’

– The young man says ‘what??? I want a second opinion!’

– The psychologist says, ‘well… ok then… You’re ugly too.’

I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings
– Apparently it’s an Apartment Complex

What did the psychologist say to the man who felt misunderstood all the time?
– What are you trying to express?

Why was the Mathematician told to see a Psychologist?
– Because he kept obsessing over his x.

Why can’t you hear a psychologist go to the bathroom?
– Because the ‘p’ is silent.

What did the broke rat write on his cardboard scrap
– Don’t mind pressing a lever for food.

What do you call a psychologist cat?
– A freudy cat!

What did the psychology major say when his professor told him that he wasn’t acting like his ideal self?
– Roger that.

What does the psychologist say when a psychology major doesn’t pass his college course?
– He says, well you should have read the cues.

What undergarment does a psychologist wear?
– A Freudian Slip

So I told my psychologist….
– Me: I’m a wigwam, I’m a tipi, I’m a wigwam, I’m a tipi, I’m a wigwam, I’m a tipi, I’m a wigwam, I’m a tipi.

– psychologist: relax man, you’re too tense.

Why was the calendar depressed?

– Because it’s days were numbered.

Why did the fashionista not do a master’s in psychology?
– She didn’t really approve of APA style.

What did the the psychologist say to his patient, who hears voices, about her congestion?
– It’s all in your head.

What did everyone call Freud after he lied about studying for the psychology exam?
– Sigmund Fraud.

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