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Psychology jokes 🧠 in 2025

My psychology teacher is in the hospital because of heart problems and I wanted to write down some good jokes for him.

Why did the 13-year-old’s parents forbid her from going to an analytical psychology convention?
– They thought that she was too Jung.

psychologist: how does that make you feel?
– **reverse psychologist:** ¿leef uoy ekam taht seod woh

Why was the psychology major such a good musician?
– He was classically conditioned.

What Christmas song do psychologists sing the most?
– Do you hear what I hear?

What did the psychologist say to the patient who thought he was a church bell?
– If the feeling continues, ring me.

I told my psychologist I thought I was turning into a set of curtains.
– She said I should pull myself together.

I went on a skiing trip with a group of psychiatrists,
– I’ve never seen so many Freudians slip

What is a boat full of psychiatrists labeled as?
– Freudian ship.

Why can’t you hear psychologists urinate?
– Because the P is silent.

My boss: Why should I higher you as a Reverse Psychologist?
– Me: You shouldn’t

Why did the psychology major panic when the bartender rang the happy hour bell?
– He remembered that he’d forgotten to feed his dog.

person walked into a bookstore and asked the salesperson for a book that was made into a musical, which is still running.
“Do you have Less Miserable?”
– The salesperson replied, “Look in the psychology section.”

What do a cancer surgeon and a psychologist have in common?
– Women see them when they need to get something off their chest.

I’m tired of being a Psychologist…
– I don’t like APA style et. al.

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
– Canadian person was smarter

Why were Pavlov’s curls always so luscious?
– He used classical conditioning.

What was the mercurial cow diagnosed with?
– A moo-od disorder.

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