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Psychology jokes 🧠 in 2024
Psychology is one of the popular subjects at school. With students from various disciplines, it’s a subject many can relate to. As such, we have Psychologist Jokes to add fun to it. So, while you try to understand how the mind works, make it more interesting with hilarious psychology jokes.
What was the mercurial cow diagnosed with?
– A moo-od disorder.
What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist?
– “Let me be Frank with you.”
What is the psychology major’s favorite Bob Dylan song?
– Forever Jung.
When Sigmund’s mirror broke, Jung took pleasure in seeing a shard in Freud.
A man was walking in the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed.
– As he lay unconscious and bleeding, a psychologist, who happened to be passing by, rushed up to him and exclaimed,
– “My God! Whoever did this really needs help!”
Why did the lying psychologist not want to go to the Jung convention?
– He was a Freud.
Why did the psychologist not believe in reverse psychology?
– He was a Freud of being fooled.
I told my psychologist I thought I was turning into snooker ball
– She sent me to the end of the queue
At a job interview for a new receptionist: “I see you used to be employed by a psychologist.
– Why did you leave?”
– “Well, I just couldn’t win. If I was late to work, I was hostile; if I was early, I was anxious; and if I was on time, I was obsessional.”
Why was the person with narcissism so secure in his relationship?
– He knew his wife loved him.
I went to see a reverse psychologist.
– He told me to commit suicide.
Why did the psychology major have a cast on his arm?
– He had suffered a Freudian slip.
How many psychology students does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Let’s focus on you, how many do you think?
What’s the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
– A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
A good psychologist once advised me to shut out all the negative people that remind me of my dark past and move on
– It’s been more than a month since I’ve gone to him and I am already starting to feel better
What did the psychologist say to the patient that thought he was a deck of cards?
– Let’s focus on you, we’ll deal with the problem later.
My psychologist diagnosed me with ADD
– At least I think that’s what she was saying.