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Programming Jokes 💻 in 2025

How programmers curse?
-Oh shift!

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What is the most used language in programming?
-Profanity.

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I know I did okay on today’s programming test…
…because my teacher gave me a C++.

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Programmer fired for following bad practice.
-Refuses to comment.

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I’ve been programming too much
-I can barely cout of my eyes

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Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?
-Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.

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Programmers are like God.
-We create defects and also kill them too. We spend the whole day fixing a defect, and the patch itself gives birth to a few more defects of its own.

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Teacher: “How would you describe your level of programming?”
-Students: “Low”
Teacher: “Ok, fine, you can write programs in assembler then”

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If a programmer could rearrange the alphabet, they’d put U and I together.
-User Interface is important to them.

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People “without genders” are usually bad programmers.
– since they’re non-binary

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How did the programmer die in the shower?
– He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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How do you make a computer say ‘5’?
– You’ll figure it out. It’s Programming Binary 101.

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How does the computer programmer order all her books?
-By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!

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New Programming language.
– Hello! I’m developing a new programming language and I would probably make it open sourced in a little bit once I finish the syntax. But I wanted to hear some suggestions about a good name for the language. It’s a higher level scripting language capable of hardware interaction. Right now it’s called Halec but I want something better.

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If my wife thinks I’m obsessed with programming, she’s crazy.
– Endif

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What do spanish programmers code in?
-Sí ++

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Define programmers
-The mythical creatures who solve all the problems of lesser mortals without having to move from their desks.

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I asked the librarian for level 5 programming books.
– Instead he gave me some programming 101 book. I don’t why

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