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Programming Jokes 💻 in 2025

Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
-Theres always missing paren

A programmer’s wife…
-A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, “get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.” He comes home with a dozen loaf of bread and tells her, “they had eggs.”

Java is the most misogynistic programming language in existence
-It thinks women are objects

Master/slave terminology was recently removed from the python programming language so as not to offend anyone.
-Looks like PC’s finally won.

Which way did the programmer go?
-He went data way!

Which type of programmer are you!
– Binary system

What does a programmer’s ghost say?
-bool!

Why do Programmers make good politicians?
– Their goto is to switch statements.

“What do you call a programmer from Finland?”
– “Nerdic”.

How does a programmer get cooler in the summer?
-He opens Windows

Canadian programming
-Found a good one here.

I turned in my programming assignment
– Which came out to say “Hello world!”. I received a C+. I walked up to my professor and said, “Actually, this is C++”.

A plastic surgeon applies for a programming position
-Because he heard they needed back end development.

Without a compiler, most of us will not be a programmer.
– Ok, now don’t bring up the interpreter story.

How did the Programmer lose weight?
– Hey switched to a byte sized diet.

The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo said
-Lather. Rinse. Repeat

A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
-The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me

Why did the programmer quit his job?
-He didn’t get arrays

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