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Pregnancy jokes 🤰👶 in 2025

“Can I just spray a little PAM down there right before the baby comes out?”

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“I can smell electricity. I swear to God I can smell the TV.”

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What hurts even more than childbirth?
– Having to sing “Wheels on the Bus” 20,000 times a day.

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Did you know that your chances of becoming pregnant are hereditary?
– The chances are that if your parents didn’t get pregnant, you won’t either.

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Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
– Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he wears nothing at all.

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“Being pregnant finally helped me understand what my true relationship was with my body — meaning that it wasn’t put on this earth to look good in a swimsuit.”

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Mike, why do you keep calling your bungee jumping accident “the pregnancy scare?”
Mike: “The rubber broke.”

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What does it mean when the baby is born with teeth?
– It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

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I’m pregnant, so I asked my husband to put the Oreos where I couldn’t reach them.
– He put them on the floor.

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Peeing on a stick and preserving that stick is the start of the many disgusting things you will do as a mother.

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“Being pregnant is kind of like a sedative… everything’s just chill.”

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What is the oddest stage of pregnancy?
– When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or buy you a gym membership.

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What size pants do you wear?
– Leggings

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Do I have to have a baby shower?
– Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

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What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
– Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s partner knows what’s good for them.

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If heartburn during pregnancy means you’ll have a hairy baby…
Then I’m about to give birth to Chewbacca.

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“Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.”

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Me: I’d like to name our son James. Wife: Why?
– *9 months later* Wife: My water broke! Me: Let the James begin!

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