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Pregnancy jokes 🤰👶 in 2024
Pregnancy is a joyous time for many, while for others it can be frightening and anxious. Pregnancy jokes can help to enjoy the hope and excitement of a happy pregnancy; and also, to relieve some of the stress that comes from a complicated or unexpected pregnancy.
Yes, please whine to me about how tired you are today.
Are you growing a human? I didn’t think so. Now shut the hell up.
Honey, I’m pregnant!
Hi Pregnant, I’m Dad!
Me, on the phone: Ok thank you. Bye. Wife: What did the fertility doctor say?
– Me: Oh, nothing impotent.
You don’t have to study for a pregnancy test, but I’ve heard there’s a lot of cramming that goes on before the exam.
How does one sanitize nipples?
– Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.
“Stop saying, ‘We’re pregnant.’ You’re not pregnant! Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? No. Are you crying alone in your car, listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No. When you wake up and throw up, is it because you’re nurturing a human life? No. It’s because you had too many shots of tequila.”
Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.
She clearly isn’t a fan of protection.
My wife is a “bodybuilder”.
– She is pregnant.
During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels when he has a fever.
When people congratulate me, I like to say, “For what?” and watch them freak out
“I never stopped burping. And I felt terrible about it, but there was just nothing I could do — I would be in the middle of saying something and I’d just start burping. It was awful. I felt like a frat boy.” — Katherine Heigl
The more my pregnancy advances, the more often I notice strangers smile at me. Why?
– It is because you are fatter than they are.
Does pregnancy affect a woman’s memory?
– Most women I asked can’t remember.
What do you give a new mom, so she’s ready for anything?
– A diaper bag of tricks.
Is there any reason for a husband to be in the delivery room while his wife is in labor?
– Only if the word “alimony” means anything to him.
Waiting for this baby to be born is like picking up someone from the airport.
But you don’t know who they are or what time their flight comes in
What do you call it when two flowers have a surprise pregnancy?
– An oopsie-daisy!
Today at the pharmacy I noticed a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.
– She clearly isn’t a fan of protection.
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Who Uses Pregnancy Jokes
While everyone is likely to use or hear at least some silly pregnancy jokes throughout their life, there are some who are more likely to be subjected to them. People who become pregnant and carry for the full 9 months will hear cute pregnancy jokes over the entire length of time. These will range from cheesy pregnancy jokes about the symptoms and the way they feel to hilarious pregnancy jokes about the way other people react to a pregnancy announcement. There are many milestones and moments that are celebrated throughout the process and these are sure to have their own one liner pregnancy jokes.People who are around those that are pregnant will also use their own top pregnancy jokes. Families of those who are expecting will share their favorite and most frequently heard short pregnancy jokes, while those who work with them will have some from their own point of view. Medical staff and care givers have funny pregnancy jokes to help keep up the spirit of their expecting people and to help them feel less tension related to the experience. Cheesy pregnancy jokes about changes in eating habits and things like drinking extra water or struggling to stand up at some points are all ways to share the experience with friends and family while having fun.
Doctor offices and hospitals are often helping to support healthy pregnancies and caring for infants. They are in the ideal positions for the best pregnancy jokes and will share them with their own families and friends, mention them on lunch and over breaks, and even share hilarious pregnancy jokes with the pregnant patients and their families. Clean pregnancy jokes can help to break the ice with new patients, relax the families, and help to maintain approachability and comfort between patient and care provider.
Jokes About Pregnant Animals
Animals that are pregnant may share many of the same symptoms and effects as people, and this leads to many different animal pun and animal jokes that are intertwined with pregnancy jokes. These are useful for teaching children about the effects of pregnancy on the body and how they cycle works. By watching animals such as pets or class pets, or even animals that are on a local farm or wild animals such as squirrels, build nests and homes and grow their own babies, kids can learn about the process of having a baby.Pregnancy jokes for kids are often fun and lighthearted, intended to help them to feel as though they are a part of the changes that are happening to their family. These can help to increase the connection between a child and their parent who is pregnant as well as their new sibling when the baby is born. Corny pregnancy jokes about how much other mammal are like people in this experience are one way to help kids learn about both people and other animals, and to learn how to tell a mammal from other types of animals.