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Pregnancy jokes 🤰👶 in 2025

How to ensure your baby is a Shrek fan?
– Play All-Star by Smashmouth all day, every day while your wife slowly goes crazy.

What should a joke have in common with a pregnancy?
– A good delivery.

What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
– Childbirth.

Approach with caution.

Screaming out “BOOM PREGNANT!” during sex is never as funny as you think it will be

What is the most reliable way to determine the baby’s sex?
– Childbirth

How many days are there in a month?
– Each month has an average of 30 to 31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 5,489,234.

How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
– If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

“Of course I can do this. I’m pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn’t change my personality.” an

What position should the baby be in while in the ninth month of pregnancy?
– Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder!

What is the first word of a baby going to be?
– If the baby can hear everything then its first words are definitely going to be an expletive.

What does a pregnant woman say after she apologizes for her random emotional outbursts?
– “Up yours and I hate you.”

“I want drugs, massive amounts of drugs. I want the maximum legal limit of drugs.”

“Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.”

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife start to feel and act normal again?
– When the kids are in college.

What do you call it when you’re unable to find someone to help you through your pregnancy?
– A midwife crisis.

What makes watching a Quentin Tarantino movie look like a Disney flick?
– Seeing a childbirth video.

Exercising while pregnant is like eating kale on your cheat day.

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