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Pregnancy jokes 🤰👶 in 2025

What’s common between hide and seek, and an unintentional pregnancy?
– Ready or not, here I come!

How do you know if kidney stones are worse than pregnancy?
– After a kidney stone, nobody says “let’s have another”

What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
– They both require chickpea.

What are the terrible twos?
– Your breasts after your baby stops nursing cold turkey.

“Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.”

A woman covered in pasta sauce takes a pregnancy test
– Turns out she’s Prego.

Since I became pregnant, my breasts, buttocks, and even my feet have grown. Does anything get smaller during pregnancy?
– Yes, your bladder.

How is being pregnant like being a kid again?
– There’s always someone telling you what to do

To pee or not to pee is never the question. Pee.

“Baby brain is real. I should not be allowed to operate heavy equipment, including iPhones.”

I’m pregnant. I asked my husband to place the Oreos where I couldn’t reach them.?
– He put them on the floor.

What hurts even more than childbirth?
– Having to sing “Wheels on the Bus” 20,000 times a day.

“Are you the lady who doesn’t realize she’s pregnant until she’s sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?”

“Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.”

How many days in a month?
– Each month has an average of 30-31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 742.

What is the most common pregnancy craving?
– For men to be the ones who get pregnant

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
– When the kids are in college.

Is there anything you should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
– Pregnancy.

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