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Politician jokes 👨‍⚖️ in 2024

What do you call a politician who always votes with his party? A partisan.

What do you call a politician who always makes excuses? An excuse maker.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the rally? He wanted to make sure the crowd heard his promises.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the town hall? He wanted to calculate how much money he could make from the proposed policy.

What do you call a politician who always panders to the rich? A plutocrat.

What do you call a politician who always shifts blame onto others? A blame-shifter.

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the debate? He wanted to sound smarter than he really was.

Why did the politician bring a notepad to the meeting? He wanted to write down all of his ideas, even if they were terrible.

What do you call a politician who always plays dirty? A mudslinger.

What do you call a politician who always talks down to his constituents? A condescending politician.

Why did the politician get a facelift? He wanted to look more electable.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the interview? He wanted to make sure he could talk over the journalist.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the debate? He wanted to add up the number of people he could trick with his lies.

What do you call a politician who always changes his stance? A flip-flopper.

What do you call a politician who always plays the victim? A victim-card player.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the rally? He wanted to add up the votes before they were even cast.

Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the town hall? He wanted to make sure he didn’t waste any time listening to his constituents’ concerns.

What do you call a politician who can’t stop talking? A filibusterer.

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