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Politician jokes 👨‍⚖️ in 2025

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the debate? He wanted to sound smarter than he really was.

Why did the politician bring a notepad to the meeting? He wanted to write down all of his ideas, even if they were terrible.

What do you call a politician who always plays dirty? A mudslinger.

What do you call a politician who always talks down to his constituents? A condescending politician.

Why did the politician get a facelift? He wanted to look more electable.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the interview? He wanted to make sure he could talk over the journalist.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the debate? He wanted to add up the number of people he could trick with his lies.

What do you call a politician who always changes his stance? A flip-flopper.

What do you call a politician who always plays the victim? A victim-card player.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the rally? He wanted to add up the votes before they were even cast.

Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the town hall? He wanted to make sure he didn’t waste any time listening to his constituents’ concerns.

What do you call a politician who can’t stop talking? A filibusterer.

What do you call a politician who always avoids the tough decisions? A fence-sitter.

What do you call a politician who always gives vague answers? A vague-answerer.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the debate? He wanted to drown out his opponents’ arguments.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the hearing? He wanted to make sure his voice was heard above the others.

What do you call a politician who always takes credit for others’ work? A credit thief.

What do you call a politician who always takes the easy way out? A lazy politician.

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