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Politician jokes 👨‍⚖️ in 2025

What do you call a politician who always changes his stance? A flip-flopper.

What do you call a politician who always plays the victim? A victim-card player.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the rally? He wanted to add up the votes before they were even cast.

Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the town hall? He wanted to make sure he didn’t waste any time listening to his constituents’ concerns.

What do you call a politician who can’t stop talking? A filibusterer.

What do you call a politician who always avoids the tough decisions? A fence-sitter.

What do you call a politician who always gives vague answers? A vague-answerer.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the debate? He wanted to drown out his opponents’ arguments.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the hearing? He wanted to make sure his voice was heard above the others.

What do you call a politician who always takes credit for others’ work? A credit thief.

What do you call a politician who always takes the easy way out? A lazy politician.

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the debate? He wanted to add up all of his lies.

Why did the politician bring a notepad to the interview? He wanted to keep track of all the lies he told.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the interview? He wanted to make sure his voice was heard above the interviewer’s questions.

What do you call a politician who always blames others for his mistakes? A scapegoater.

What do you call a politician who always prioritizes his personal interests over the public good? A selfish politician.

Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the rally? He wanted to make sure his speech was exactly the right length.

Why did the politician bring a megaphone to the debate? He wanted to shout over his opponent’s well-reasoned arguments.

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