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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2025

Why won’t Pluto throw a birthday party?
– It can’t even planet

What did the IKEA dresser say to the aliens after landing on their planet?
– I come in pieces.

Why do Reddit astrologers not try to divine humor from the movement of planets?
– Because the real joke is in the comets!

What’s a gay man’s favorite planet?
– Earth, most likely. Unless he’s personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.

How do you organise a party in space?
– “You planet”

How does NASA organize a party?
– They plan-et.

Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
– It’s a Thor subject for them.

An alien’s report to finding a planet with 7.5 billion dead.
– “They’re all dead but their assess are spotless, sir.”

“Dad, why are there no jews on jupiter?”
– “Because its a gas planet son”

They say one out of every 5 people on the planet is Chinese.
– The thing is, there’s 5 people in my family. On of us must be Chinese.
I know it can’t be me. I’m pretty sure it’s not my mon or dad.
That leaves my brothers: Shawn, and Zhang Wei.

What do planets use to download music?
– Nep-tunes.

Many of my friends worry about little piles of rocks they have stashed all over the planet, but not me..
– …I don’t have a cairn in the world.

In one far away planet…
– There is a substance called ‘nue’. Once something falls in it, it can’t get out and will sink and suffocate. There was once a woman who owned a cat, and one day she insulted someone- but she didn’t know they were a super villain. So, the villain, being a villain, took her to his secret base, stole her cat and threw it in nue. As the girl screamed, the villain laughed and said, “this will die in nue!”

Earth is the best planet…
– The mere rotation of it makes my day!

One alien says to another, The dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.
– The second alien replies, Are they an emerging intelligence?

The first alien says, I don’t think so, they have them aimed at themselves.

What do you call someone who is crazy about protecting the planet?
– Enviro Mental.

Why is pluto (1185km) not a planet…
– but Bruno Mars (1.65m) is a star?

The Planets
– 71% water + 29% land = Earth

100% land + 0% Chocolate = Mars

100% land + 0% Fertility = Venus

100% land and lava + 0% Freddy = Mercury

100% land + 0% Dog = Pluto

100% gas = Uranus

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