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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2025

Two Aliens
– 2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.

“It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles” says one alien

“are they showing signs of intelligence?” asks the other

“I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves”

After many years of fighting crime as batman
– Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn’t work with a crypto knight.

I have a space pun
– But i need a little more time to planet

We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons
– If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

How does NASA organize a party?
– They planet.

Aliens and Humans
– “Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire”

What’s the furthest planet humans can see with their NAKED eye?
– Uranus

Isn’t it crazy every planet is named after a Greek God except for earth?
– It’s just named after that stuff on the ground.

What would you call Captain Planet if he fought ghosts instead of eco-terrorists?
– Captain Planchette.

How does NASA organize their company parties?
– They planet.

Freddy Mercury, Venus Williams Williams Bruno Mars all happened to walk into the same bar.
– But they didn’t planet that way.

Oh baby there’s about to be 7 planets because,
– I’m gonna destroy Uranus

I wanted to make a joke about the planet not being a globe but…
– it fell flat

There was once a horse with the most illustrious and flowing mane on the planet
– Maybe she was barn with it, or maybe it’s neighbelline.

From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun.
– It was a tough year.

Scientists have finally figured out what happened to all the water that used be Mars
– Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle

There must be another planet somewhere with worms.
– Otherwise why would we call ours “Earth” worms

A Republican and a Democrat found a magic lamp
– The genie said “I will grant one wish per person”. The Republican immediately jumped forward and said “I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs.” The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked “Are they all on their own planet?” “Yes” said the genie. “Are you sure? All of them?” The genie said “Yes” one more time. Then the Democrat said “I guess I’ll just have a glass of water then.”

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