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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2025

I’m not racist, but…
– If I could put an end to any race on the entire planet, I’d get rid of the marathon.

What is an alien’s favourite chocolate?
– A mars bar

I asked my German friend how many planets in our Solar System
– Surprisingly he said “Nine”

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet
The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they’d have a Sun?
– Only if they planet.

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury
– No, I’m not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

Our planet successfully played most notes on the piano.
– But it couldn’t B flat.

A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment.
– The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.

How do you organize a party in outer space?
– You planet.

Two Aliens
– 2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.

“It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles” says one alien

“are they showing signs of intelligence?” asks the other

“I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves”

After many years of fighting crime as batman
– Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.

All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn’t work with a crypto knight.

I have a space pun
– But i need a little more time to planet

We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons
– If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

How does NASA organize a party?
– They planet.

Aliens and Humans
– “Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire”

What’s the furthest planet humans can see with their NAKED eye?
– Uranus

Isn’t it crazy every planet is named after a Greek God except for earth?
– It’s just named after that stuff on the ground.

What would you call Captain Planet if he fought ghosts instead of eco-terrorists?
– Captain Planchette.

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