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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2025

Why won’t Pluto throw a birthday party?
– It can’t even planet

I wanted to throw an earth day party…
– But I forgot to planet

Two aliens are talking about a desolate planet Earth…
– The first alien asks : ” How did all the humans die?”

The second alien says : “They used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out.”

What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
– I can see Uranus from here.

Earth is the third planet from the sun.
– By this logic, all countries are third world countries

What do you get when you combine A planet and an apple?
– Ma Rio

Today I pulled a key off my keyboard [long]
– Today I pulled one of the CTRL keys from my keyboard and was shocked to find myself looking down at the entire universe: stars planets, black holes, the whole thing was right there beneath my keyboard.

I was so shocked I called a friend in to show her. After five minutes of gazing into totality, she turned to me and said:

Don’t worry, it seems you have everything under control here.

It’s the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.
– The real joke is in the comets

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.
– Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

Why is a planet that is earthquake-free so awesome?
– Because it’s crack-a-lackin’

I wanted to make a joke about the planet not being a globe but…
– it fell flat

There was once a horse with the most illustrious and flowing mane on the planet
– Maybe she was barn with it, or maybe it’s neighbelline.

From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun.
– It was a tough year.

Scientists have finally figured out what happened to all the water that used be Mars
– Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle

There must be another planet somewhere with worms.
– Otherwise why would we call ours “Earth” worms

A Republican and a Democrat found a magic lamp
– The genie said “I will grant one wish per person”. The Republican immediately jumped forward and said “I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs.” The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked “Are they all on their own planet?” “Yes” said the genie. “Are you sure? All of them?” The genie said “Yes” one more time. Then the Democrat said “I guess I’ll just have a glass of water then.”

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?
– The orbituaries.

How does NASA get away with murder?
– They planet

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