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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2025

Why won’t Pluto throw a birthday party?
– It can’t even planet

I wanted to throw an earth day party…
– But I forgot to planet

Two aliens are talking about a desolate planet Earth…
– The first alien asks : ” How did all the humans die?”

The second alien says : “They used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out.”

What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
– I can see Uranus from here.

Earth is the third planet from the sun.
– By this logic, all countries are third world countries

What do you get when you combine A planet and an apple?
– Ma Rio

Today I pulled a key off my keyboard [long]
– Today I pulled one of the CTRL keys from my keyboard and was shocked to find myself looking down at the entire universe: stars planets, black holes, the whole thing was right there beneath my keyboard.

I was so shocked I called a friend in to show her. After five minutes of gazing into totality, she turned to me and said:

Don’t worry, it seems you have everything under control here.

It’s the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.
– The real joke is in the comets

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.
– Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

Why is a planet that is earthquake-free so awesome?
– Because it’s crack-a-lackin’

Why are hyenas the healthiest animals on the planet?
– Because laughter is the best medicine.

Scientists recently discovered that there’s no such thing as gravity…
– This planet just sucks.

My favorite name for a planet is Saturn…
– it has a nice ring to it.

I called Serena Williams. I said, Serena, what’s your favorite planet?
– She said, It’s Venus.

Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?

Where did the alcohol on the Planet of the Apes come from?
– monkey bars

Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife.
– Ella wasn’t great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.

What is Earth’s favorite pastime?
– Making fun of other planets for having no life.

If Earth is the third planet from Sun after Mercury and Venus
– Doesn’t that make every country a third world country?

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