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Pizza Jokes 🍕 in 2024

I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.
-She still regrets letting me name the kids.

Why do pizza places always deliver the pizza before giving it to you
– They should just avoid putting the liver in the first place

How can you tell if you are in love?
-If they stole a pizza your heart.

What do Greek people use to cut their pizzas?
-Caesars

I’m eating mostly whole foods lately
-Whole pizzas, whole cheeseburgers, whole tubs of ice cream…

“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
-“No sir, it will be round!”

Have you heard of the new pizza outlet? It’s called Pizza Mafia
-They’ll make you a pizza you can’t refuse.

How do you sell a gluten free pizza?
-Take all the other pizzas out of the frozen section.

(too soon?)

How do you get a musician off your front porch?
-Pay for the pizza..

If pizza could talk what would it say?
-Probably lots of cheesy things.

Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?
-As he was finishing eating, she asked “Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?”

What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
-Fold me close.

Scientists Invent Machine That Can Ruin Any Pizza
-It’s called a microwave.

Schrodinger’s Pizza
-You don’t know until you get it whether its delivery, or Digiorno’s

What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
-Cheeses Crust.

Being a pizza delivery person and a comedian is hard work.
– You have the right stuff, but sometimes you get the delivery wrong.

BTW, they fired me from my pizza delivery job.

A pizza died yesterday
– Apparently it topped itself

How do you get the Arizona State grad off your front porch?
-Pay for the pizza.

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