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Pirate jokes 🏴‍☠️ in 2025

What did one pirate say to the other?
– “I sea you!”

Why do pirates carry swords?
– Because swords can’t walk.

How do you save a dying pirate?
– CPARRRRR

What do pirates wear in the winter?
– Long Johns!

How do pirates prefer to communicate?
– Aye to aye

Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
– Right where ye left him.

Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
-Because booty is only shin deep

What’s the best name for a pirate dog?
-Patches!

What did the elderly pirate captain say when asked if he was 80?
-“Aye, Matey.”

Where do pirates put their weapons?
-In their enemies.

Why type of socks do pirates wear?
-Arrrrgyle

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
– One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

Why did the pirate go on vacation?
-He needed a little arrrrg and arrrg

Who gets all their movies for free?
Pirates!

What kind of grades does a pirate get in school?
-A. High seas!

What is a pirate’s favorite movie?
-Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)

Why is pirating so addictive?
-They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.

Where did Bluebeard the pirate get his name?
-One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!

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