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Pirate jokes 🏴‍☠️ in 2025

What’s the best name for a pirate dog?
-Patches!

What did the elderly pirate captain say when asked if he was 80?
-“Aye, Matey.”

Where do pirates put their weapons?
-In their enemies.

Why type of socks do pirates wear?
-Arrrrgyle

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
– One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

Why did the pirate go on vacation?
-He needed a little arrrrg and arrrg

Who gets all their movies for free?
Pirates!

What kind of grades does a pirate get in school?
-A. High seas!

What is a pirate’s favorite movie?
-Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)

Why is pirating so addictive?
-They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.

Where did Bluebeard the pirate get his name?
-One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!

What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?
– A swordfish!

What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
-I, I, R, and the seven C’s!

What did the first mate send down the toilet?
-The Captain’s log!

Where do pirates go for a drink?
-. The sand bar!

What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?
– High Cs

Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
-Because booty is only shin deep!

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
– Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

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