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Pirate jokes 🏴‍☠️ in 2025

What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
– He got marooned.

Why did the pirate cross the road?
– To get to the second-hand shop!

What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?
-Aye matey years old!

What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
– P. because it would be an R, but it’s missing a leg.

Where do pirates keep their valuables?
– In a jarrrrr

What do you call a stupid pirate?
– The pillage idiot!

Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?
-To buy an iPatch.

How do ye turn a pirate furious?
-Take away the “p.”

What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank!

How much did the pirate pay for his earings?
– A buck-an-ear.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
-A buck an ear.

Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?
– Because the captain was standing on the deck!

What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
-Robin Hook

What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?
– Termites.

What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?
– A rookie.

Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
– Because the captain was standing on the deck!

What did the first mate see down the toilet?
– The Captains log!

What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
– A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

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