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Pirate jokes 🏴‍☠️ in 2025

How do ye turn a pirate furious?
-Take away the “p.”

What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank!

How much did the pirate pay for his earings?
– A buck-an-ear.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
-A buck an ear.

Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?
– Because the captain was standing on the deck!

What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
-Robin Hook

What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?
– Termites.

What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?
– A rookie.

Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
– Because the captain was standing on the deck!

What did the first mate see down the toilet?
– The Captains log!

What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
– A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

What’s the name of the world’s most frugal pirate?
– Barry D. Treasure

What’s a pirates favorite type of music?
-Rum & Bass!

How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
– An arm and a leg.

What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?
-BARRRR-B-Q!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
-Because they can spend years at C.

Why’d the pirate join Gold’s Gym?
-To improve his booty

What happens if you take the p out of a pirate?
-He becomes irate!

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