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Pirate jokes 🏴‍☠️ in 2025

A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined. The doctor says: “They’re benign.”
– The pirate replies: “no, no doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here.”

What Did The Pirate Say When His Wooden Leg Got Stuck In The Freezer?
-Shiver me timbers!

How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
-A buck-an-ear.

How do pirates know they exist?
– They think, therefore they ARRRRRRR!!!

Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
-Because he was standing on the deck.

How does a pirate get to the top of the building?
– By elevataaaaarrrrrr!!!!!

How do pirates know that they are pirates?
– They think, therefore they ARRRR!

How do you make a pirate very angry?
– You take away the “p”.

What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?
– Leeks

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
– The letter RRRRRRR!

How do pirates communicate with each other?
-With an Aye phone.

What did one pirate say to the other?
– “I sea you!”

Why do pirates carry swords?
– Because swords can’t walk.

How do you save a dying pirate?
– CPARRRRR

What do pirates wear in the winter?
– Long Johns!

How do pirates prefer to communicate?
– Aye to aye

Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
– Right where ye left him.

Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
-Because booty is only shin deep

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