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Pilot jokes 👨‍✈️✈️ in 2024

Have you heard of the TV show about the airplane?
– It sorta crashed and burned, but I think it’s because the pilot wasn’t very good

What do you do with wood after you cut and split it?
– Pi-lot.

Why do people take an instant dislike to flight attendants?
– To save time later

A man walks up to the counter at the airport.
– “Can I help you?” asks the agent.
– “I want a roundtrip ticket,” says the man.
– “Where to?” asks the agent.
– “Right back to here,” he replies.

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, “Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, send one to Miami.”
– She said, “We can’t do that!”
– I told her, “You did it last week!”

Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.

Why did the airplane get sent to his room?
– He had a bad altitude.

Why are pilots never charged with speeding tickets?
– Because they fly above the law.

How often does a plane crash?
– Only once.

My son saw an airplane in the sky, and he asked me what it was doing.
– I said it was running air.

Flight Announcement: “Last one off the plane has to clean it.”

Who built an airplane that couldn’t fly?
– The Wrong brothers.

How does a private jet pilot become a commercial pilot?
– By sticking advertisements all over the plane.

A passenger, in panic, asked if the airplane was going the right way.
– To which Yoda responded, “Off course, we are.”

How will you comment on a pilot who always flies the same jet?
– Someone very dedicated to his craft.

What do you call Harry Potter on a plane?
– The flying sorcerer.

What would you say about an airline pilot who actually wanted to be a sailor?
– He is in the wrong craft.

What kind of transport does a rabbit use?
– A hare-plane.

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