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Pilot jokes 👨‍✈️✈️ in 2025

What happens if you sue a big airline company for losing your luggage?
– You lose your case.

A vulture walks into an airplane with a rotting corpse.
– The flight attendant screams, “You cannot bring that on this plane.”
– The vulture says, “It’s just my carrion.”

What do you call a plane that can’t take off?
– An error plane.

Why do they have frosted glass on airplane toilet windows?
– Who knows — it’s not like anyone’s going to look in at 30,000 feet.

What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?
– “Boeing, Boeing, Boeing!”

Why did the judge deny the bail request of the co-pilot?
– Because he posed a significant flight risk.

What do airplane builders say about their job?
– “It’s riveting.”

What would you call an airplane made of rubber?
– You call it Boing 747.

Do you know how the French came up with the word for helicopter?
– Hey, Look Up There!

Why can’t spiders become pilots?
– Because they only know how to tailspin.

What do you call an airplane that is about to crash?
– An error-plane.

Two pilots are discussing piloting. One asks, “Why did you become a pilot?”
– One asks, “Why did you become a pilot?”
– He responds, “To overcome my fears.”
– The other asks, “Which one? Heights?”
– To which he responds, “Dying alone.”

Why can’t spiders become pilots?
– Because they only know how to tailspin.

An ant falls out of an airplane, how did it die?
– Starved to death on the way down.

What is the difference between God and an airline pilot?
– God doesn’t think he’s an airline pilot.

How often do airplanes crash?
– Just once.

How do you find your life as a cabin crew?
– Well, it has its ups and downs.

How do rabbits travel?
– By hare-oplane!

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