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Physics Jokes 🌀 in 2025

Dr. Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: “Do you know how fast you were going?
-Heisenberg replies: “No, but I know where I am

Theoretical Physicist: You have a great potential, why don’t you use it?
– Me standing on a rooftop: @@

What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
-A natural log cabin!

What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
– “Gotta split!”

Why is a physics book always unhappy?
-Because it always has lots of problems.

Why can Einstein rank only 2nd among all physics?
-Newton’s first law

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a gin and tonic?
– The bartender smiled wryly and replied, “For you, no charge.”

Quantum Physics jokes
-I don’t always make jokes about Quantum Physics, but when I do, I don’t

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
-He’s 0K now.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a drink?
-The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.

Why is quantum mechanics the original “original hipster”?
-It described the universe before it was cool.

At my physics exam today, I was asked who discovered the black hole.
-Apparently, Ron Jeremy was not the right answer.

Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
-He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
– Because it’s in its ground state.

Why did the sun not go to college?
– Because it already had a million degrees!

My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy
– Then i fell down the stairs and lost it all

What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicis?
– Let me atom.

Why is quantum physics so much harder than regular physics?
-Because in regular physics, if something can go wrong, it will.

But in quantum physics, if something *could* go wrong, it will.

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