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Physics Jokes 🌀 in 2024

Einstein developed a theory about space.
– It was about time too.

A man was recently cooled to absolute zero-
– but he’s 0K now.

I will name my son Physics.
– So that I will be called Father of Physics

What do physicists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel.

What is a physicist’s favourite food?

-Fission chips

What do you call an Atom when it dies?
– A Diatom.

They’re serving mystery meat at the cafeteria in the physics lab again.
-I’ve been asking what the main ingredient they put in their heisenburgers was, and nobody knows.

Two cats of the same size slide down a roof at the same time, but one falls off first. Which one?
-The one with the smaller “mew.”

Did you hear about that new physics institute?
-It’s so big, there is a dedicated infrared-light district!

You Matter!
-nless you multiply yourself by the speed of light…… then you energy

What is the name of the first electricity detective?
– Sherlock Ohms

Dr. Heisenberg is out for a drive when he’s stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: “Do you know how fast you were going?
-Heisenberg replies: “No, but I know where I am

Theoretical Physicist: You have a great potential, why don’t you use it?
– Me standing on a rooftop: @@

What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
-A natural log cabin!

What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
– “Gotta split!”

Why is a physics book always unhappy?
-Because it always has lots of problems.

Why can Einstein rank only 2nd among all physics?
-Newton’s first law

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a gin and tonic?
– The bartender smiled wryly and replied, “For you, no charge.”

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