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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2025

A guy walks into a pharmacy: “I have extreme headaches, my belly cramps, I feel like I’m about to vomit and my back hurts like something tears the muscles apart. Do you have something?”
– Pharmacists: Nope, I feel fine!

A pharmacist returns to his shop from lunch to find a man leaning against the wall.
– “What’s wrong with him?” He asks his assistant.

– “He came in for some cough syrup,” explains the assistant. “But I couldn’t find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead.”

– “What!” The pharmacist says, horrified. “You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

– “Of course you can,” the assistant declares. “Look at him – he’s far too scared to cough.”

Girl, you’re so expensive, my insurance is requiring a prior authorization before our first date.

Girl, you must be norepinephrine because you make my heart race.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the body builder in his pharmacy?
– These are not the ‘roids you are looking for.

Where did the pharmacist turned actor store his measuring equipment?

– In the dram-attic.

A man goes into a Pharmacist and asks for some silicon dioxide
– The Pharmacist says “we don’t sell that”.

– He replies “But you have loads in the window”

At the pharmacist
– A guy goes to a pharmacist and asks for a dozen condoms.
– The druggist asked ” Would you like a paper bag?”
– The guy shakes his head and says “Nah, she ain’t that ugly.”

A new drug for Yuppies: It doesn’t give a false sense of security or relaxation — it makes you enjoy being tense.

What do you call a pharmacy that *may* exist?
– An hypothecary

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