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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2025

A new drug for Yuppies: It doesn’t give a false sense of security or relaxation — it makes you enjoy being tense.

What do you call a pharmacy that *may* exist?
– An hypothecary

Do you have an inhaler?
– You took my breath away.

I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.

Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for men?
– It changes their blood type.

You must be regulated by the FDA because you treat, cure, and prevent my broken heart.

I went into a pharmacy and asked “what gets rid of Coronavirus?”
– The assistant replied “ammonia cleaner” I said “I’m sorry, I thought you worked here”

You’re so pharma-cute-ical!

Side effects may include infatuation, racing heart, and lowered inhibitions.

What do you call a pharmacy’s security guard?
– The fentanyl sentinel

Seeing the cars, house and lifestyle of the pharmacy owner, friends and relatives accused him of ill-gotten wealth.

Are you a box of BD pen needles?
– Because you are ultra-fine.

I asked my Pharmacist for advice on telling a rash joke..
– he told me to make it topical.

A pharmacist looks out the front of the store and sees a woman holding a bottle jumping up and down in the parking lot.
– The pharmacist walks out to the parking lot and asks the woman whats the matter.
– She replies ” I saw it said ‘Shake Well’ after I took it”.

The ‘p’ in pharmacist…
– Makes all the difference.

You look familiar. Did we have class together?
– I could have sworn we had chemistry.

I went into a pharmacy and asked, “What gets rid of Coronavirus?”

– The assistant replied, “Ammonia cleaner.”

– I said, “I’m sorry, I thought you worked here.”

My pharmacist recently lost his arm.
– Now I call him my “phacist”.

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