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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2025

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech.
– Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can’t read his notes.
– So he asks, “Is there a pharmacist in the house?”

Our local politician just opened a neighborhood pharmacy store.

– He is now a piller of the community.

Well, aren’t you a sight for psoriasis!

Girl, you’re so expensive, my insurance is requiring a prior authorization before our first date.

A duck strolled into the pharmacy…
– Asks if there’s any chapstick. Pharmacist hands over the product and says “that’ll be $3.59”. No, no, says the duck, just put it on my bill.

Can I bother you for an aspirin tablet?
– Just looking at you from across the room is giving me heart-related pains.

A newborn pony walks into a pharmacy.

– He asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any Cepacol lozenges? I’m a little hoarse.”

Propranolol is red, digoxin is blue. My heart skips a beat when I see you.

I bought a pack of condoms and the pharmacist asked if I’d like a bag for that.
– I said, “no I’m good, she’s actually quite pretty”

When I go into a drug store, the pharmacist is usually high.
– Why are many drug stores constructed with the area behind the counter a few steps higher than the rest of the store?

Is your name flecainide? Because you just made my heart skip a beat.

Lady says to pharmacist: “Why does my prescription medication have 40 side effects?”
– Pharmacist replies: “Cause that’s all we’ve documented so far.”

A guy asked a pharmacist for a box of 50 condoms behind the counter.
– Two cute girls who were standing behind him giggled. The guy turned and looked the girls in the eye and still talking to the pharmacist said Make it 52.

Lily went to a nearby pharmacy to buy her partner some deodorant.
– A salesclerk comes up to her and asks what she’s looking for.

– “I’m looking for some deodorant for my boyfriend, but I don’t know what kind he uses.”

– “Is it the ball type?”

– “No,” she replied. “It’s for his armpits.”

Why should you be quiet inside a pharmacy?

– You might wake the sleeping pills.

Not sure what my creatinine clearance is, but I just can’t get you out of my system.

You’re like an SSRI.
– It only makes sense when you are with me.

A duck waddles into the drug store and says, “Sorry, I don’t have my wallet today but I need to buy a condom.”

– The pharmacist says, “No problem. Shall I just put it on your bill?”

– The duck exclaims, “Sir! What kind of a duck do you think I am?”

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