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Periodic table jokes 🧪⚗️🧑‍🔬☣ in 2025

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

My friend asked me if she could use my periodic table
– I said “sorry, I left it atom”

There are many noble elements but the smartest of all elements in the periodic table is Einsteinium.

Keep your ion the prize!

What do you get when you mix Uranium, Nickel, Cobalt, and Radon?
– A UNiCoRn!

Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone rubber?
– He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.

Nerdy pickup line.
– Hey baby, Are you uranium because I’m Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. 😉

The police did not trust the statement given by the atoms, after all, they are known for making up everything.

Do particles with multiple helium isotopes have mass?
– Only the Catholic ones!

Is silicon the same in Spanish?
– Si.

A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him…
– The official cause of death was “Exposure to the Elements”.

“Please don’t start with your element jokes, I’ve sulfered enough,” said the tired element to the other elements.

A good way to remember gold is “Au gimme that gold”.

Argon walks into a bar. The barman says, “We don’t serve noble gases.” Argon doesn’t react. (Noble gases are unreactive.)

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.
– They only have periodic tables.

If you ever hurt your leg, you put your Neon the couch and put some ointment on it.

How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?
– Fear of utility bills.

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