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Periodic table jokes 🧪⚗️🧑‍🔬☣ in 2025

What did the chemist say to motivate his team?
– We ARGON to BARIUM.

What did the chemist do when he cut his leg?
– He put his neon (knee on) a table to bandage it up.

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
– CsI.

What did the rest of the periodic table say as gold went home at the end of the day?
– Au revoir!

When there was a fire, the elements said that Arsenic started the fire.

I wanted to post something here for National Periodic Table Day but I’m out of my element.

What does a metal miner write home in a letter to his girlfriend?
– I am zincing of you!

What is the chemical formula for sea water?
– CH2O.

Call me the 7th noble gas.
– Cuz I’m Og.

(yay for the completion of the 7th row of the periodic table!)

The child wanted to go to the amusement park at midnight. His father arranged a bunch of iron in a circle and called out: “Here’s a Ferrous Wheel.”

Why can’t I buy occasional chairs and periodic tables in the same store?

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?
– Febreeze!

What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?
– “Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!

What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period
– You get your palm red for free

I’m a female but you can call me Iron Man (Fe = Iron, male = man).

What don’t you understand about copper?
– It makes perfect CENTS!

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

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