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Periodic table jokes 🧪⚗️🧑‍🔬☣ in 2025

Carbon and Hydrogen went to the park, they really bonded well.

Are you feeling under the weather today?
– Because you look like you’re Na fine.

Why did the scientist want carbon, Arsenic, and Hydrogen?
– Because it makes CAsH!

What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?
– Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

Gold is not terrible. It’s Au-some. Even silver Ag-rees.

What do you do with a dead scientist?
– You barium. That’s if you can’t helium or curium.

Did you know that Iron Man was a FeMale? (Fe = Iron and Male = man)

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”
– The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.

What does Mr Krabs have to do with the periodic table?
– Agagagagagagag

When the King heard that the prisoner escaped he told the guards to Cesium.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
– A-mean-o Acid.

What did one titration say to the other?
– “Let’s meet at the endpoint.”

What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?
– Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

He was kind enough to help the old lady cross the road. Truly, he is a good Samarium.

I was going to tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogen but NaH.

What does a good doctor do for his patients?
– Helium.

I would tell a joke about the periodic table.
– But sadly all the good ones argon.

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