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Periodic table jokes 🧪⚗️🧑‍🔬☣ in 2025

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
– A-mean-o Acid.

What did one titration say to the other?
– “Let’s meet at the endpoint.”

What’s a pirates favorite element on the periodic table?
– Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?

He was kind enough to help the old lady cross the road. Truly, he is a good Samarium.

I was going to tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogen but NaH.

What does a good doctor do for his patients?
– Helium.

I would tell a joke about the periodic table.
– But sadly all the good ones argon.

If you find any dead elements around, you need to Barium.

Are you hydrogen?
– Why? Because I can’t live without you.

What’s Iron Man’s favorite amusement park ride?
– The ferrous wheel.

I was going to tell a periodic table joke but all of the good ones argon.

Which element of the Periodic Table is the poorest?
– Antimony. ^I’m ^so ^sorry…

Oxygen and Potassium had a date last week. It was OK!

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

Come on guys, these chemistry jokes are getting a bit boron.

What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
– “Breaking up is hard to do.”

God is talking to one of his angels and says, “Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn’t that good?” The angel says, “Yes, but what will you do now?”
– God says, “I think I’ll call it a day.”

The stupid clown was thrown in jail because he was a Silicon (Silly con).

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