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Painting jokes 🎨🖼️🖌️ in 2025

My friend decided to take up wood working and he heard this joke at his new work place

What did Van Gogh tell himself when his lover left?
– Let it Gogh.

A hooker said that she would do anything if I offered her $100…
– Guess who’s getting his house repainted for $100?

The owner of dulux paints died today, he froze to death atop a mountain
– Police report states he could of done with another coat.

So I guess there was this rancher who was growing a really weird breed of cattle.
– They were a really vivid blue green color. No one could believe it… They thought he was airbrushing them or painting them or using Instagram filters or photoshop.

Finally an fda inspector–Neal Beal was his name–wanted to go out to the ranch and see for himself whether these cows were really this vivid blue green or was it a sham. He toured the ranch and saw for himself but still had his his doubts. So the rancher invited him to stay for dinner and even slaughtered a calf that afternoon.

When dinner was served, the meat was an amazing blue green hue. Inspector Beal just shook his head. He still had doubts.

At this point the rancher was getting irked, and banged his fist on the table.

“Look Neil Beal” he thundered and spieled. “I don’t care what you feel about this meal and l don’t want to hear you squeal. That teal veal is the REAL DEAL.”

Made up by my coworker

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?
– Mohammed Dali

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