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Painting jokes 🎨🖼️🖌️ in 2025

What’s the difference between a fetish and a hobby?
– ***Depends where you stick the ship in a bottle after you finish painting it…***

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
– “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.” “That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “The guy was your doctor.”

Why did Van Gogh become a painter?
– Because he didn’t have an ear for music.

If you tell a painter his art is bad,
– he usually gets the picture.

I don’t like to use painting softwares
– Because it is Electronic Arts

I was spray painting a side table when I noticed my first coat was really patchy…
– I thought to myself, “well this can is past its prime”

Luckily I had another can that was primer.

The painters
– I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0.
I asked them, “Why aren’t you charging me for the paint?”
They said, “Don’t worry about it, it’s on the house.”

Do you know what a painter draws before he goes to bed?
– Curtains.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
– Depends on how hard you throw.

Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it.
– … and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

People ask why I never finish my paintings
– I remind them I am a black belt in partial arts!

How do painters stay warm?
– They add another coat.

Why did Degas take so long in the toilet?
– He was consti-painted.

There’s been an explosion at the paint factory where my brother works.
– He’s missing, presumed red.

How do you know a painting’s innocent?
– Cause it was framed.

I was spray painting a side table when I noticed my first coat was really patchy…
– I thought to myself, “well this can is past its prime”

Luckily I had another can that was primer.

What do you call a surrealist painter that converts to Islam?
– Muhammad Dali

The painter had his house mostly messed up.
– He said it was a work-in-progress.

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