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Painting jokes 🎨🖼️🖌️ in 2024

My friend covered their walls with whiteboard paint
– I’ve never seen something so remarkable

Do you know why the artist add sugar to his paint?
– To make it more palatable.

Artist: “How are my paintings selling?”
– Gallery owner: “When I explained how the value would greatly increase after your death, very well! One person bought 15 paintings!”

Artist: “Oh! That’s amazing! Who bought them?”

Gallery owner: “Your doctor.”

A friend of mine is convinced that Van Gogh painted the Mona Lisa.
– I just don’t have the ‘art to correct him.

I don’t like to use painting softwares
– Because it is Electronic Arts

Why did Van Gogh become a painter?
– Because he wanted to be a musician but he just didn’t have an ear for music.

Why is the Starry Night so foggy?
– Guess you need to see it through some Gogh-gles.

People ask why I never finish my paintings
– I remind them I am a black belt in partial arts!

I hired an ex-pilot to do some painting in my house
– Turns out he’s pretty good at it! He did a great job of the the landing.

What’s the name of that painting in the louvre that you get arrested for touching?
– I can’t quite put my finger on it.

My wife was cheating on me with the painter.
– I caught him red-handed.

MichaelAngelo entered the church and shouted to the ceiling
– “I got you covered!”

*Ouch!!* *Zut alors!!*
– A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

(…and you thought I didn’t have De Gaulle to post this on raydeet…. Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse. )

What does red paint smell like?
– Chlorinated rubber, water, isopropanol, titanium dioxide, castoreum

A painter got a call…
– from the gallery that was showing his work. The gallery owner said, “I have good news and bad news. A fellow came in this morning and asked if your work is the kind that would increase in value after the artist’s death. I sad yes, and he bought all fifteen paintings. The bad news is that he’s your doctor.”

What do you call a surrealist painter who turned into a boxer?
– Muhammad Dali.

A good woman is like a coat of paint,
– you should give it some time before you put your fingers in it.

Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter?
– It was an egg shell lent idea

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